We’re Not Luxury. We’re the Mockery of Luxury.
FERMES™ is not a fashion house.
It’s satire stitched in leather, art disguised as commerce, and a revolution paraded down the street like a meme in heels.
Where Hermès built palaces for the elite, we strapped a donkey to a wheelbarrow.
Where they promised Paris, we deliver Europa, Jupiter’s frozen moon of make-believe prestige.
Where they sell illusions, we sell honesty in its sharpest form: Certified Fake Replicas™.
Satire: Dragging Fashion Into the Light
The luxury industry is built on games: endless waitlists, humiliating “pre-spend” requirements, and bags marked up 100x their cost. People walk into Hermès with money ready to spend and walk out empty-handed because they weren’t “important enough.”
FERMES is the antidote.
We’re not pretending to be exclusive. We’re parodying the very system that worships exclusion.
Every FERMES drop is a joke you can carry:
Potato sack dust bags – because status deserves burlap.
Newspaper wrapping – headlines mocking luxury itself.
Embroidered slogans – Luxury You Can Almost Afford™ and The Only Label That Hates You Back™.
This isn’t counterfeiting. It’s cultural commentary with handles.
Art: The Joke You Can Own
Every FERMES bag is more than a product, it’s a performance piece.
Certified Fake Replica™ Tags: Each with a real serial number, not to fake authenticity but to prove you’re in on the joke.
Packaging That Goes Viral: Newspaper headlines, potato sack dust covers, Europa “import slips.”
Limited-Run NFTs: Digital collectibles that double as proof you own parody art, some even granting rights to reproduce the design.
We don’t sell fakes. We sell art disguised as fake. And that makes it priceless.
Revolution: Fashion for the 99.9%
Luxury has always been about exclusion. FERMES is about inclusion, irony, and rebellion.
If you can click it, you can buy it.
Because fashion shouldn’t be about proving your worth, it should be about proving the industry is ridiculous.
When you carry a FERMES, you’re not flexing wealth.
You’re flexing awareness.
Legally Safe. Culturally Dangerous.
Let’s make it clear: FERMES is not Hermès.
We are parody, not counterfeit.
We are commentary, not confusion.
We make it obvious, through slogans, logos, and satire, that this is a roast, not a replica.
That’s why parody law protects us.
And that’s why Hermès can’t stop us without looking like a humorless giant suing a donkey with a dream.
Join the Movement. Rock the Industry.
FERMES isn’t just satire. It’s a cultural movement.
For the scammed. If you’ve ever been denied a Birkin after years of waiting, you belong here.
For the excluded. If you’ve ever been told you weren’t “the right client”, you belong here.
For the woke to the joke. If you’ve ever laughed at how absurd fashion has become, you belong here.
FERMES is the first brand to make parody a lifestyle.
The first to turn “fake” into a flex.
The first to invite everyone into the roast of an industry that spent centuries keeping you out.
The Final Word: So Fake, It’s Honest.
Luxury didn’t need to be fake, they made it that way.
We just made it honest.
FERMES is satire, art, commentary, and high-quality parody all in one.
It’s not about status. It’s about solidarity.
It’s not about handbags. It’s about breaking the industry that made them untouchable.
So join us.
Own the parody.
Flex the fake.
Rock the industry.
When the industry finally notices, they’ll realize it wasn’t a bag they were up against, it was a movement they can’t shut down.