Keywords: Copenhagen Fashion Week, parody fashion, satire fashion review, FERMES roast, luxury parody
Welcome to the Land of Unwearable Choices
Ah, Copenhagen Fashion Week Spring 2026. A city where bicycles outnumber cars, oat milk flows like champagne, and apparently, ugly is couture.
The runway this season gave us exactly what we expected: silhouettes that don’t belong on humans, color palettes chosen by hungover interns, and outfits that scream “I lost a bet.”
Let’s review.
Nicklas Skovgaard: Grandma’s Curtains With Trauma
Opening strong with a dress that looks like it was sewn from your grandmother’s sunroom curtains after she lost a fight with a floral couch. The model looks like she just realized she’s allergic to the fabric. Romantic? No. Rash-inducing? Absolutely.
CMMN SWDN: Banana in a Business Meeting
A mustard suit for those who want to look like a banana that just got promoted to middle management. Boxy, shapeless, and styled with just enough beige depression to qualify as Scandinavian chic.
Sunflower: Divorce Lawyer Chic
Here we have the “I just finalized my third divorce” look. Oversized gray suit, cigarette break energy, and the aura of someone who’s Googled “how to sell a yacht fast.” Inspired, apparently, by dad who gave up but still owns cufflinks.
The Garment: Corporate PowerPoint Collection
A pantsuit that screams: “This quarter’s losses were due to synergy disruption.” The matching scarf is perfect for when you need to strangle yourself after sitting through another 4-hour board meeting. Accessible only to people whose parents own at least two vacation homes.
Rolf Ekroth: Pajama Party Deluxe
Blue polka-dot pants and a matching tank top, it’s giving “luxury sleepover energy.” The kind of outfit you’d wear if you wanted to convince people you tried, but secretly plan to nap through the afterparty. Half runway, half IKEA bedding set.
Rave Review: Minecraft Shoulders
Structured shoulders so wide they need their own zip code. Paired with a sheer skirt to confuse the audience: is it business, is it bedtime, or is it just a dare? Either way, this look should be illegal in 37 countries.
Caro Editions: IKEA Lace Nightmare
See-through lace with a bow big enough to qualify as a flotation device. This is what happens when you order lingerie from IKEA and forget to buy the Allen key.
Freya Dalsjø: Paper Towel Couture
A dress made entirely out of Bounty Select-A-Size. Functional for wiping up spilled kombucha, useless as clothing. Don’t stand too close to water, or this look is dissolving.
Ranra: Thrift Store Professor
Closing strong with an outfit that looks like it was stolen from a divorced poetry professor who still writes manifestos about Che Guevara. Brown, beige, and depression-forward. The only accessory missing? Custody papers.
Final Thoughts: Thank God for FERMES™
Copenhagen Fashion Week proves once again that luxury is just ugly with better PR. While these designers fight over who can confuse you the most with fabric scraps, FERMES gives you something simple:
- Real materials.
- Real craftsmanship.
- And a Certified Fake Replica™ tag that at least admits what it is.
Because unlike these “collections,” at FERMES, we’re not pretending the joke is high art. We are the joke.
So fake, it’s real™.